Continuums
Another way to overcome all or nothing thinking is using continuums, a range between opposite extremes. This helps a person to see that their performance does not fall only in one of two opposite categories (e.g. “If I am not the very best, I am a complete failure”), but there are shades of grey between these black and white categories.
Using Elise as an example:
| 1) What is my all or nothing thought? |
| Unless I can write my essays perfectly (i.e. “feels right”), there is no point in writing them at all. |
| 2) What are the two extremes of my thinking? |
| Don’t write essay at all / Write essay perfectly |
| 3) Example(s) where I was in the middle of the two extremes |
| Last week, I wrote 2 paragraphs of my essay even though I didn’t feel that it was perfect
Don’t write essay at all _________x____________________Write perfectly |
| 4) What do these examples mean? |
| I can write a part of the essay, even if it’s not perfect. I do not have to keep all or nothing rules about writing essays. |
| 5) Results |
| When I submitted the essay ahead of time, I felt a sense of achievement about it not being rushed and I didn’t view it to be either more or less right than the essay she submitted right on the deadline. I also did better in the essay which I submitted earlier. |
| 6) What I've learnt |
| I learnt from this that submitting an essay ahead of time didn’t increase my feelings of “not rightness” but gave me a sense of achievement. It also reduced my worry because the essay wasn’t always on my mind. Moreover, the teacher didn’t see me as lazy and stupid but praised me for handing it on time and doing better. |
| 7) My new belief (specific behaviours; rate how strongly your beliefs and feelings are from 0 to 10) |
| I do not have to only start writing an essay when it “feels right” or perfect. Just starting it instead of procrastinating helps, and having done it, I felt happy and a sense of achievement (8/10). |
Now you give it a go!
Continuums usually have “good” and “bad” at either end. It can be helpful to think about other people you know who are neither good nor bad, neither fat nor thin, neither completely successful nor complete failures but somewhere in between.
| 1) What is my all or nothing thought? |
| 2) What are the two extremes of my thinking? |
| 3) Example(s) where I was in the middle of the two extremes |
| 4) What do these examples mean? |
| 5) Results |
| 6) What I've learnt |
| 7) My new beliefs (specific behaviours; rate how strongly your beliefs and feelings are from 0 to 10) |
What did you find when you completed this exercise? Were you able to challenge your all or nothing thinking by thinking of examples when there were shades of grey in your behaviour – that it was not in fact completely all or nothing?