Perfectionism behaviours
In the first session, we learnt that perfectionism can lead to avoidance, procrastination, performance checking and unhelpful behaviours. Understanding these behaviours is important for you so that you can change. Here’s a summary of the definition and examples of these behaviours:
| Behaviour | Definition | Examples |
|---|---|---|
| Avoidance | Trying to decrease or escape from anxiety about a situation by not doing something | Not submitting assignments Not inviting friends to your house for meals Not going out with friends for coffee Not training with other athletes |
| Procrastination | Trying to decrease or escape from anxiety by delaying a task until a later time | Delay writing assignment until the night before it is due Delaying cleaning one’s room Delay starting urgent work for the day, and surfing the internet instead |
| Performance checking | Checking how one is doing in a perfectionism area including: | |
| Testing out performance repeatedly | Checking body repeatedly for fat Re-reading work over and over Examining closely how well one said something after speaking |
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| Comparing oneself to how others are doing | Comparing number of hours studied to classmates Comparing marks to other students Comparing speed of running to other athletes |
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| Seeking reassurance from other about performance | Asking teacher if report was OK several times Repeatedly apologizing for food being “not good enough” at a dinner party Asking friends if he/she thinks you are a good friend |
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| Unhelpful behaviour | Trying to prevent or reduce anxiety in a way that “backfires” and makes the situation worse | Always making lists before starting homework Always wearing makeup before leaving the house Arranging the desk before studying every day Eating exactly the same breakfast each day before starting athletic training |
Elise's Example
Elise worries about her performance and compares her work to her classmates, and often feels disappointed in her performance because it isn’t “good enough”. She now finds that she is delaying her writing of essays, putting it off for days on end.
Below are Elise's thoughts about her perfectionism. Try completing the boxes with your own perfectionism thoughts!
| Category | Elise's thoughts | Your thoughts |
|---|---|---|
| Thought | I need to write a really good essay – it’s so important | |
| Feeling e.g. anxious, sad, angry, ashamed, depressed, scared, embarrassed, irritated, happy, disappointed, excited | Fear, anxiety | |
| Avoidance | Not submitting essay and asking teacher for extension of deadline | |
| Procrastination | Putting off writing the essay due at the end of the week, each day worrying but delaying starting | |
| Performance checking- testing, comparing, reassurance seeking | Testing – reading comments on previous essays over and over Comparing – Asking classmates how much they have completed and what they have written | |
| Unhelpful behaviours | Arranging stationery on the desk before beginning study for the day |